At war

From the moment I was born till my death I will have to struggle. A soldier in arms has no value until he is tested. If I am not tested, I dare say that I am off the narrow road, either to the right (self-righteous) or the left (living in sin), because that is the only way that the devil will leave me alone.

That was the message at church today and out pops the question, am I intimidating to the devil?

Does he tremble when he sees me on my knees because my prayer of faith will move mountains, or does he scoff at my useless, empty, faithless, reciting?

Does he rally his forces whenever I plan my next move to build up God’s kingdom, or is he relaxing, assured that he can hold his ground and I will do little damage to his strongholds?

Has he got me beat with discouragement and self pity, or am I an encouragement to the many soles who are struggling along beside me?

Is my worship a time for him to disappear because he just can’t stand me being in the presents of God getting guidance, encouragement, and strength for the battle, or has he got me employed worshiping other gods like food, possessions, money, hobbies, church and community responsibilities to tie up my time, energy, and thoughts?

Is he delighted when I hold a clean house, sewing, blogging and other things above spending time with my children, husband, and family, or does he want to give up when I have my priorities straight and am able to take enough time so that there is no lack?

Does he get a bad taste in his mouths when I’m talking to my friends about God and His wonderful ways, or is he happily sitting by listening as we discuss dresses, shoes, couples and news?

Is he impressed because my love is only shown out of duty or must he find another new trick in his big book to try to keep it from flowing freely from God through my willing heart out to all?

How does he react when I return good for evil? Has he got me feeling self-righteous and better than my neighbor or am I merely doing it out of love for my fellowman, knowing that God loves the next person just as much as I am loved?

Today the question was asked: am I afraid to die, or have I been dead for a long time?

Create in me a clean heart Oh God, and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from thy presents oh Lord. Restore unto me the joy of my salvation, and take not you’re Holy Spirit from me.

What will I say when He asks me why He should let me into His heavenly home?.......

….I have done nothing to deserve it; it was the work of Jesus Christ who died and did it all for me.

Here I am again, back before the One who examines my heart and sees all I do. There is no use pretending, He sees right through me and I cannot hide anything from Him. Far, far from the goal, I will not give up the fight, I have only started.