Mary

I finally got the Christmas spirit when I heard the wonderful news that my good friend Mary (Greenachers) had a baby boy named Hans on Christmas Eve. I am overjoyed and got so excited that I sang Mary's song:

“ My soul magnifies the Lord, And my spirit has rejoiced in God my Savior.

For He has regarded the lowly state of His maidservant...For He who is mighty has done great things for me, And holy is His name.

And His mercy is on those who fear Him From generation to generation. He has shown strength with His arm; He has scattered the proud in the imagination of their hearts.

He has put down the mighty from their thrones, And exalted the lowly. He has filled the hungry with good things, And the rich He has sent away empty.

He has helped His servant Israel, In remembrance of His mercy, As He spoke to our fathers, To Abraham and to his seed forever.”

She will have her very own nativity sene this year!

A very Merry Christmas to all, filled with family and fun, peace on earth, and goodwill.

Five New Additions to Family

If you are looking to own a dog write to rodneyklein@excite.com

100%

I’ve been busy helping out with the school Christmas concert on the 20th and we are making progress. The children are improving and fairly well behaved. I totally lost my cool on Friday; I guess my stress tolerance level is quite low. I don’t know how our teachers, James and Stanley can do it; I definitely appreciate them more today.

I’ve always loved drama and I enjoy lending a hand. I’ve had to learn how to make a person look old with makeup, and the experience has been great. My house has been in ‘just keep it looking nice’ mode for a week, and I know that I have to be where there is a need, use the talents that I have, and give it my all, even if the next person doesn’t.

I do wonder why I should though.

…Is it because I want to be a good example?

…want to impress a person or group of people?

…be thought well of?

…show off?

…want praise?

…want the good feeling I get from it?

…imitate someone?

...or just because I enjoy it?

...All the wrong reasons.

Ananias and Sephira gave a lot, but then tried to deceive God and the disciples into thinking it was their all. Their punishment is what I want to avoid. So why should I do good deeds? Why should I give whatever I choose to give? I did promise at my baptism to give 100%...and I must have done that out of love and gratefulness for what I have been given on the cross. Is this still my main motivation for what I do? Is it love that pushes me on to give more?

Nobody can ask for more than what I give, if I want to give 20% it will be accepted, if I want to give 50% so be it. If I want to give 150% and bleed out my last drop, that is between me and God.

Can I give more? I know that some things, like cooking, (don’t get me started on that) demand my all and it may not be my cup of tea, special gift, or something that I can accomplish. Do I still have to give my all? What if my all is just shorter than the next person’s? Can I just say that I’m doing my personal best? What is my personal best? Whatever God lies on my heart?

He is the one who made us all with our unique qualities, talents, gifts. He will know what to ask for. He did ask that we do all we do out of love, and went so far as to say that if there is no love, we shouldn't bother.

Well, no wonder my soul searching always brings me back to this one theme: Love your neighbor as yourself. If I’m going to be understanding and even a bit lenient with myself I should be cutting my brother some slack to.

In other news: I’ve almost finished my second cassette; it’s got only bible stories on it. I just didn’t get inspired to do any others. I’m planning to have it ready to be sold after Christmas.

Judas has been bringing home some words from school to learn and knows them so well that we can’t even trick him anymore. He needs to be read to 5 min. a day and that is a pleasure. He has already got one pizza ticket.

No can do!! Maybe a post can only handle one clip at a time. I'll try adding it to this one....
What is going on??? Can't do it!!!

P.S.

Hello, can anyone tell me why my pictures are being replaced with a box with a red x in it?
And you may want to have a look at my Born Again blog one more time because I finally found the clip of a worm turning into a cocoon.

Moments

This is also for my Uncle Mike who just went to be with the Lord last week. He sure was somebodies angel and I'm glad I was on earth with him, I look forwards to seeing him glorified.
In honor of women's history month and in memory of Erma Bombeck who lost her fight with cancer.
IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER - by Erma Bombeck
(Written after she found out she was dying from cancer).

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have sat on the lawn! With my grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, 'Later. Now go get washed up for dinner.' There would have been more 'I love you's'; more 'I'm sorry's.' But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute...look at it and really see it.. live it and never give it back.

STOP SWEATING THE SMALL STUFF!!!

Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what, instead; let's cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us. Let's think about what God HAS blessed us with, and what we are doing each day to promote ourselves mentally, physically, and emotionally. I hope you have a blessed day .

The Upside Down Kingdom

This was fun to write, it seems that if man places great value on things, God does not. They are kind of ironic, or the opposite of what you would expect, and I’m sure there are many more, so if you have any to add, please feel free to comment.

The weaker we are the stronger the Lord is in us.

We lose our life to gain it.

The poor become rich in Christ.

There is no resolving to do as we will but the giving in to do His will.

The servant is the greatest.

The scares bring healing.

Getting on our knees accomplishes much more than standing proud.

The simple are made wise.

What we do for others matters more than what we do for ourselves.

His burden is light and His yolk is easy.

He came to bring the sinner to repentance, not the righteous.

The first shall be last and the last first.

The humble shall be exulted.

A child leads the way to the King.

A Warrior

I will learn to fight!!

I will use the shield and sword!!

I will knock, and it shall be opened to me!

I will ask, and it shall be given me!

I will seek, and I will find!

I will seek first the kingdom, and all these things shall be given unto me!!

I will not give up just because I don’t always live up to my own standards!!


After much prayer and pain, once I became silent and really listened, the Spirit convinces and convicts me.
He was sharpening His ax ready to chop off the large unsightly weed that I have allowed to grow in my heart.

“No” I begged, “There is a root under there; if you just cut off the weed, as soon as there is a new season it will spring up again and grow stronger yet. Bring shovels, uproot the whole blasted thing. I need a makeover, transform the whole landscape.”

So we go back and dig, what is under there? Back to Crystal Springs, back to Airport, back to my childhood. What made this weed grow and take root so deeply? What is feeding it?

It has found much nourishment from the past; the water of life has given it drink. Life has not been perfect from the time Adam and Eve disobeyed God. They were, in fact, the very first dysfunctional family; remember Cain and Able?

I cannot change the way things happened in the past, but I can change my reaction to them. So out comes the root.

“Wait, are you sure I won’t need this for something? Not even to keep me humble? Things are going to look a little different around here.”

It’s about time to get rid of it, there is plenty more work we must do. Leave the past and forget the things that are behind and reach forward for the things that are ahead.

So we covered up the gaping hole; spread the soil evenly over it, and planted some flowers. Today’s flowers and buried the past.

Now watch, Satan has many seeds lying in the ground just waiting for food. If one happens to spring up, tare it out while it is yet small lest I come again and find your garden in ruins. “For though we live in the world, we do not do battle as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish arguments and every pretention that sets itself up against the knowledge of God and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

Maybe now that I have considered the beam in my own eye, I will see more clearly to help my brother with his tiny little speck. Hypocrite is a very humbling word.

The Sword

I am just learning to use the sword of the spirit, the word of God so that I can deal with the lies the devil is constantly pounding into my head.

I have long been wearing the helmet of salvation and the breastplate of righteousness given me at my spiritual birth. I have even been walking in the sandals of the gospel of peace and have accepted the girdle of truth. Maybe not perfectly, and I know I need to learn to use this armor to fight, but I have found another weapon...

...the sword...

When the devil reminds me of my past sin and wants to make me doubt that I have been forgiven, I can tell him what God said “Though your sins are as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow.”

When he tells me I’m worthless, I remember that “I am crucified with Christ, therefore I no longer live, but Jesus Christ now lives in me.”

When I am tempted to go after the things of this world, I hear the Lord say, “The world is passing away and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever” 1 John 2: 16-18

When I want justice done and am not treated fairly, I hear: “He shall lead His flock like a shepherd; he shall gather the lambs in His arms and carry them in His bosom and shall gently lead those that are with young.

When I want revenge… "Vengeance is mine says the Lord, I will repay.”

I have a big problem with worry: it is a sin like all the rest: “Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will have its own worries, sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.”

This without doubting is my most powerful instrument for the battle. Could I give my head for it as our for-fathers have? I would love to have their faith, or that of Moses or Joseph and David.

Yet again He calls my name, “Nelda, you need only the faith of a child.”

Calvary Love

Talk about a challenge Dianna, today at church I was severally challenged to not only love with my lips and with words but with deeds and in truth. We had the Love chapter, Cor. 13.

Many years ago in Airport I found this in the garbage behind our new house. I was just doing some Friday cleaning and I sat down on our porch to read it. I was moved to tears because of how far off I was from knowing anything about Calvary love. It helped change me and the direction that I wanted my relationships to go. I read it often because it always keeps me reminded of where and what real love in action is.

Calvary Love

If I am perturbed by reproach and misunderstanding, if I cannot commit the matter and go in peace and silence remembering Gethsemane and the cross,
then I know nothing of Calvary love.
If I hold onto a choices of any kind just because they are my choices: if I give room for private likes and dislikes,
then I know nothing of Calvary love.
If I am soft on myself and slid comfortably into the vice of self-pity and self-sympathy; if I do not by the grace of God practice fortitude,
then I know nothing of Calvary love.
If I cannot in honest happiness take the second place (or the twentieth): if I cannot take the first place without making a fuss about my unworthiness,
then I know nothing of Calvary love.
If I take offence easily, if I am content to continue in cool unfriendliness, though friendship is possible,
then I know nothing of Calvary love.
If a sudden disturbance can cause me to speak an impatient, unloving word,
then I know nothing of Calvary love.
(For a cup brimful of sweet water cannot spill one drop of bitter water however suddenly jolted.)
If the care of a person or a community be entrusted to me, and I consent to subject it to weakening influences because the voice of the world..my immediate Christian world…fills my ears,
then I know nothing of Calvary love.
If monotony tries me and I cannot stand drudgery; if stupid people fret me and little ruffles set me on edge; if I make much of the trifles of life,
then I know nothing of Calvary love.
If interruptions annoy me and private cares make me impatient; if I sadden the souls about me because I myself am sad,
then I know nothing of Calvary love.
If souls can suffer alongside me and I hardly know it, because the spirit of discernment is not in me,
then I know nothing of Calvary love.
If I become entangled in matters of the world; if things or places or people, hold me back from obedience to my Lord,
then I know nothing of Calvary love.
If my interest in the work of others is cool; if I think on terms of my own special work; if the burdens of others are not my burdens too, and their joy mine,
then I know nothing of Calvary love.
If I wonder why suffering is allowed, and press for prayer that it may be removed; if I cannot be trusted with any disappointment, and cannot go in peace under any suffering,
then I know nothing of Calvary love.

Sisters

So how do you tell from a skeleton if it’s a man or woman? The woman’s jaw is slightly more warn.

The wedding was strangely uninspiring, I guess because I missed the sermon and was more involved in the fun part of the entertainment. You know with all the kitchen work you get kind of busy, and there’s not so much social time either. It was a pleasure seeing the Acadia women again and working with them, but I never was a Martha. I can play her part, but not quite with all my heart though ‘Ich mus mich zwingen’ so that I don’t fall too hard on the lazy side. In truth I would rather sit with Mary and have my sole and spirit fed.

My friend Sonya stayed after the wedding for almost a week to give me a hand at making a much needed bed. It turned out awesome with my mother-in-law teaching us how. Sonya has a real eye for color so she designed a jean rug to complement it. We had a wonderful time jabbing over many a cup of strong coffee. Melissa is also here for a week at Melinda’s to help out with her sewing so we are celebrating sister month (whenever that is) in a real personal way.

I watched My Secret Garden over again for the third time in my life, and I think I finally got it (minus the whitchcraft, always spoils a good movie). When we get to know each other and relate, we can get a glimpse of the other person’s inner beauty. We can walk in their secret garden and discover the beautiful flowers that grow there. We can share or scatter seeds and even help with the weeding.

Pumpkins

My sister Melissa sent this forward and I'm head over heals about it, it really spoke to me....

Being a Christian is like being a pumpkin. God lifts you up, takes you in, and washes all the dirt off of you. He opens you up, touches you deep inside and scoops out all the yucky stuff-- including the seeds of doubt, hate, greed, etc. Then He carves you a new smiling face and puts His light inside you to shine for all the world to see.

It must be a process, and I, according to my third last blog, must be at the opening up stage. It is my prayer that His knife cuts off the pride and my own will at the top that prevents Him from getting to all that yucky stuff beneath. His promise is to give me the will and the strength to accomplish, so I will rest assured that He who has begun this good work in me will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.

Update

We will be celebrating a wedding here in Wingham next week on Sunday. They are busy building a new three family house for the young couple, Derrik and Rachel, who will be moving into the kindergarten house till the new one is ready. He went to ask the parents for his bride today.

Joni and I have been working for the last month on a mouse play movie that we are going to show at the wedding. Joni is doing the technology work and I the art. It's turned out pretty sweet, I think we are done.

Hans turned 3 on the 29th of September and I made a snowman cake for him because he is forever asking if it will be winter soon. We had all the kids over and we played "I wrote a letter to my friend" and hide and seek. He got some more toys of course, sweet John deers and a teeny Cat loader from his babysitter Audrey, she's a gift herself.

My house is slowly getting cleaner by the day because I'm taking every minute I can get in to have it done before the wedding; I've got all of next week to work on it. I was backing buns on Saturday and in the afternoon by mother-in-law helped me rack up the lawn and my sister-in law mowed it, so that's behind me. Thanks to God for them.

The Wing-ding women were in US last week...shopping..nice hotel..two nights. The highlight was the last evening where we had a little get-together because we had voted for a secret sister and gave out our 3 dollar gifts. I gave them all a back rub and was the only one enjoying the pool.

Rodney is all relieved that another batch of turkeys are gone off to market; he is now getting the barn ready for more.

Give Thanks

Now that my cook week is done I have time to reflect on what I am most thankful for. Thanks for the challenge Diana and your comments are always appreciated.

#1. Health of myself and all in my family (Judas stepped into another rusty nail on Friday)
#2. Faith, even as a mustered seed. A little faith brings earth to heaven, but great faith brings heaven to earth.
#3. God's word, I know I'd be lost without it. Jesus is considered as the word made flesh.
#4. Fellowship with friends and family.
#5. A free country and Steven Harper, whom I pray for.
#6. My husband and sons.
#7. Food, clothes and shelter.
#8. Smiles, sunshine and laughter.
#9. God's faithfulness and protection.
#10. Wisdom and understanding.

The Invisible Fight

Sometimes I wish I had a black stone for every word I said that was not up building and a white on for everything I've said that was encouraging, and see witch house would be erected first. Isn't it strange how we can break a heart, shatter trust, deeply hurt someone, or loose a friend and not see, hear, or perceive it in any physical way.

There are meager battles going on in each of us, everyday, and we simply cannot see how the other person is fighting with his burdens. Paul talks about fighting the good fight.

So what are we fighting?

I know my personal giant is in my head, and I must daily scramble to keep gracious, positive, forgiving and unselfish thoughts in my mind. Mustering up to keep pride, envy, criticism and worry from entering my heart. Romans 12 warns us not to be conformed to this world but to be transformed be the renewing of our minds.

Who am I fighting?

"Not with flesh and blood, but with principalities and powers." So does this mean that I'm not to be at odds with a sister or brother but with the devil? The struggle is not against one I strive to love who is made of flesh, but against the evil one who would have discord and sews seeds, in the form of thoughts, to destroy unity.

Lies, Lies, Lies
I'm so sick of lies,
is that all the devil can do.
Spare me
Never do I ever want to hear another lie
There isn't one I haven't heard.

That's from Elisa Doolittle, I sing it when I'm fed up from listening to the enemy tell me how worthless I am.

Why should I fight?

I know there is a war between evil and good, and if I don't try fighting for the good, evil will overcome me. It's like a house, if no one keeps it up, it will be destroyed. The kingdom of heaven is in my heart, if I let The King rule in it, I will reap the blessings. Oh, but where is the new heart I was promised? Will I always have to fight? Out of the heart come all kinds of unclean things. I will just have to do battle till the Lord sees fit to change my heart. He's the one who hardened Pharaoh's heart and I'll leave it in His loving care

It is incredible how silently and subtly the battle is lost or won. How vast and invisible the work of the Lord. I read a passage in Sirach the other day that said we shouldn't look down one people because the Lord does wonderful things that human beings never notice. Wow!!

Born again

I’ve been wanting to blog forever about my beautiful butterflies. I wanted to explain what I meant in my former blog (see Butterfly house) about how the life cycle of a butterfly reminds me of our new birth in Christ. Remember Nicodemus’ talk with Jesus in the night about being born again? I find a great example of this in the metamorphosis of butterflies.

First of all, they are born once, as we are from our mother’s womb, they are born of an egg that their mother has laid on the milkweed. They are just a tiny warm at first and grow to be a fat two inches by feeding on the milkweed.

Well, the milkweed is significant to me because the word of God is referred to as milk in one of Paul’s sermons. We, as spiritual babies, also need this milk to help us grow and become mature and strong. One interesting thing here about this milkweed is that it makes the larva poisonous to its predators. Our souls also have a ‘predator,’ is it not Satan? Is there safety from him by feeding on the word of God?
Once the worm is fed and fat it finds a safe place and spins a web that will hold it in place while it is changing. It attaches it’s back end to the web and hangs in a J, (for Jesus of course) until it is ready to become a new creature. “If any man is in Christ he is a new creature” Off with the old....... .....and on with the new. Since "all have sinned and come short of the glory of God" we are to put off our old sinful nature and become a new person. The worm sheds it's skin while it hangs from it's anchor......this is what I’d call the second birth.

Just as the cocoon stays fastened we must hang on to the rock through any weather, storm or wind. We must cling to the word of God through temptation and trials; stay still and focused on our source of strength in sunshine or rain.
It takes about two weeks for the chrysalis to become a butterfly depending on how warm the temperature. The warmer the sooner it will turn. And all of a sudden……
The skin or house it was in dries up and dies, and out comes something beautiful that can take to the skies. This stage reminds me of our death, our body, or earthly shell, becomes old and useless, and when we die we can go to the mansion that God has built for us somewhere in the heavens.
The butterfly then reproduces (lays more eggs) and migrates all the way to Mexico. Jesus mentions a “regeneration, when the Son of Man sits on the throne of His glory” but that mystery is far beyond me. I just know for sure that the butterfly goes into a warmer environment for the winter.

Out of Harms way

Here is a song by Gospel Express that I’d like to share; it has spoken to me in a number of ways lately.

1. Walking along so unaware, that one step ahead was Satan’s snare
His plan was to hush my praise and bring me down in defeat
Satan’s big scheme just might have worked, but there was one thing he overlooked
Some little saint had listened to God and got on their knees

And somebody prayed
(Glory to God they prayed)
Me out of harm’s way
(Prayed me out of harm’s way)
Some spirit filled child has touched the Lord for me today
(For me today)
The Father just told them of my need, and they prayed me out of Satan’s reach
Rejoicing in victory they prayed me out of harm’s way

2. If I had a choice that I could make, to be very rich or to be saved
I’d have to remember all the times I’ve needed the Lord
How badly I needed Him today, and how He just told someone to pray
Knowing my God He’s sweeter and far more precious than gold

You know when you become burdened for someone and you get this sense of worried thought or erg to pray for them? I have come to believe that it’s God’s cue. It happened to me a while ago, a friend called me on the phone when I really needed it with some advice that was heaven sent.


The one line in the song “His plane was to hush my praise and bring me down in defeat” also jumped out at me because I’ve been struggling with a little issue about singing. I’ve had a few directed and judgmental comments from sisters who I love dearly that have really discouraged me. We all love to sing at work in the basement, cutting veggies or whatever our summers work is, but I have been doing so with fear and trembling lately. I used to be able to sing freely from my spirit, and it would flow from my heart but I can’t any more.


It is interesting to note that this is the devil’s work. I was pretty shocked the first time I heard a preacher say that the first thing that is gone when God is gone is that His praise is nowhere to be heard. That was in the days when our choir was at its lowest, and I guess that’s why I was so startled.


The devil has no shame; he will steal everything he can get from us, our relationships, our home, our faith, our marriages, our peace, our future, our family, our health, and our joy. Did you know he will try and keep us from something as pleasant as a good cup of hot chocolate? Simply because it gives us a nice feeling of enjoying something through our senses; it makes for pleasant thoughts, fellowship, and maybe even, the unthinkable, thoughts about God’s goodness. He likes hearing God praised as much as we love something praised that we detest.


I remember a time at Crystal Springs when there was a drought and I was standing by the window with Cilia, an African woman, and it began to rain. So I burst out in song! One that we learned from our missions to Africa: “I am saying thank you Jesus.” It seemed so perfect and fitting to me and I was thankful, but I turned around and the dining room was starting to fill with hungry people and I had thought that there was nobody who could not sing along, and there were about three of us singing. Now that I think back on it I was presumptuous, but that’s just the way I am.

Tornadoes

I’ve finally been back to Decker after two years, and it was great seeing them all again. I had the privilege of seeing my cousin Phillip merry his sweetheart, Marlene, Rodney’s cousin.

I got inspired to write a poem from hearing Uncle Sam talk about husband looking after wife and the other way around, making it a continuous circle. Also God being head, then Jesus, husband and wife in order, and then back to God also forming a ring that has no end.

That idea came together from having watched a tornado a few months ago, and I know the people of Decker had the same experience a number of years back. If you understand how a storm starts, with the friction from the hot and cold air causing the lightening, you should "get it."

Tornado
I am the warm air, ascending. He is the cool, Lightening strikes, sparks fly
I care for him, he cares for me, it’s a circle, spinning
Faster and faster, stronger and stronger
We whether the storm ‘till the finger
Of God touches the earth and
Destroys the work
Of the evil
One

Things

Just the other day I found a sweet little piggy in my laundry, and it was so warm and rubbery right out of the dryer that I kissed it, and put it in my pocket. It brought back such sweet memories of days long gone, and I asked the little pig what he had to say to me about the One who created all things, and he admonished “Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman with a rebellious disposition” Proverbs 11:22

You know, we all have our own special way of keeping up our relationship with God. For me it’s walking and talking with Him wherever I am. Doing laundry, I'll be praising Him in song, working together; I can be showing His love and understanding to others. Caring for my children amazes me at how God is looking after all our needs, and sometimes He has to discipline us as well. Watering plants, it’s “Let anyone who thirsts come to Me and drink.” Looking at flowers: “The flowers wither and the grass dies, but My words are forever.” The beauty of the relationship between God and Adam and Eve seems to have been restored because God is accessible at all times and places when He lives inside us. Having Him in our hearts and before our eyes we can walk and talk with Him just as the disciples did. Just thinking or writing about My God doesn't make Satan very happy either.

I was taking a walk a while ago and found a beautiful, red, (my favorite color) small, stone. I picked it up to admire the glitter and asked it to tell me something about its Creator, and it promised “I will remove the stony heart from within you and give you a new heart.” Sometimes I think I’m from another planet, I’m so not interested in talk about shoes, or dresses, food, who’s getting married when, who’s related to who, and who cares about what news. I’m so out of it, but I get so excited discussing things you can’t see with your eyes, like relationships, ideas, humor, feelings, moral issues, things God made, and attitudes.

We were snipping beans a few days ago and they “told” me they do what they were created to do according to His will. They are made for food and praise God by fulfilling their purpose. Wow! What a big job little bean!! You think it’s that simple? Well, what was I created to do then? What is the will of God for me?

1. Show His love, His No. 1 command. To me, that means overlooking other's faults, since we all have them, if I'm going to look for them I can find tones in the mirror. I have been given so much grace by God, worm that I am, I think I can pass this on to the next person as well. I guess one could write forever about love, because there is simply no end to the wonder of it all.

2. Live as sinless as possible. That is a tough one, not only for me, but for all humans. “Sin clings to us like a bur in the woods on our dress” our Reverend Uncle Ernie reminds us often at church. We only have to pass by and it sticks to us like dirt as we live our lives, but thank God we have a fountain in which to wash our hands (souls) as soon as they get dirty.

3. Keep His words; do as He says in the bible. (Refer back to number 1.) Isn't His word what saves us? It is a direct link from Him to us, no wonder it says Holy on my Bible.

4. Praise Him too. I have more means and reason than the beans that have no mouth or tongue. (Well, I just couldn't squish the erg to sing.)

Tag

1) Are you close to any family member?
Yes, Karen, Mom, Melinda (as close as can be) Melissa (how close are we really, is she the close type?), Dwight, Daniel
2) Have you ever shoplifted?
No, but I have kept some money that was not mine.
3) Do you like thunderstorms?
Yes, reminds me of our all powerful Lord and God.
4) Have you ever got up in the middle of the night and prayed?
Many, many times.
5) What country would you most like to visit?
Africa, for sure.
6) Were you born on the same place you live at right now?
Well, Portage Hospital is still in the aria.
7) Are you baptized?
Yes, and ever growing.
8) Do you believe in love at first sight?
Yes, I was quite taken by Rodney when I first saw him, but who wasn’t.
9) Are you against public displays of affection?
No, I love holding hands, Rodney’s are always so warm, and I don’t care who sees. Well the young people are always commenting on how wonderful our relationship looks and I have to wonder what they see because we don’t really display our affection publicly.
10) Have you a comfort food?
No, but I love giving it to an apple when I’m really mad.
11) Do you think you are the kind of person that holds grudges?
I don’t have the memory it takes to hold them.
12) Traumatic experience? What was it?
I guess the birth of Hans and Judas were both the most traumatic for me and the following illness (post-partum psychosis).
13) Do you make a wish when you see a falling star?
I used to, but not since I got to know God better.
14) Do you wear contacts?
Yes, not always though, I hate my glasses.
15) Favorite day of the year? Why?
My birthday because it always amazes me how many of my friends think of me on that day.
16) What do you do to prevent anger?
Talk, talk, talk, talk.
17) What was your favorite toy as a child?
I still have the two adorable tiny rabbits I begged my mom to buy for me and she did.
18) What is under your bed?
Dust, I’m sure, our bed is on the floor so you can’t stuff anything under it.
19) Who is the friend you have had the longest?
Jenny, at Fairholme, we’ve known and loved each other from since we were little girls.
20) How many different houses have you lived in?
Well for how long? 2 in Airport, 2 in Crystal Springs, (MKM basement) 6 weeks at Catskill, a year at Decker with Aunt Liz, 4 in Wingham,( Lived with mom and dad for a few years, moved into empty one for a bit, then back upstairs with mom and dad and finally into my own where I am now) So that’s 8 all together.
21) Favorite perfume?
Preferred Stock, a men’s perfume I bought for Rodney when I was about 16 at the girls States trip, still love it.
22) Favorite flower?
Lilly of the Valley, it’s delicate and smells like heaven. I’m a sucker for delicate little things, I think it’s because I’ve never been small or had anything small on me.
23) Do you wear a ring?
Yes, I stopped for a while because of the Easter Letter that talks about our beauty coming from the inside, a meek and quiet spirit, but I’ll have to wait until I have a few more wrinkles so that guys stop looking at me and judging me as a 25 year old unmarried person.
24) Favorite day of the week? Why?
Sunday, I love to relax, worship and read.
25) Do you make New Year's resolutions?
I haven’t for a number of years, because I couldn’t keep the one I had made about reading a chapter in the bible everyday, I’m too off and on about it.
26) Where were you born?
In the Portage Hospital and my mom brought me home to Airport Colony, my two boys were born in the same place.
27) What are your goals for the upcoming year?
I must tape another cassette of children’s stories and sell it and give the proceeds to buy a ticket to Africa for a missionary. I’d also like to try to find other ways of making some cash to add to the project.
28) What is your favorite past-time?
I love to read true stories, comics, and psychology books.
29) In your opinion, are you easy to get along with?
No, I’m a bit moody, but I can’t hear anyone complain. Living with each other is always hard, but I try and give others as much chance to fail as I give myself.
30) When cleaning, ever sweep that hard-to-get-rid-of little junk under the rug?
I’m sure I have once or twice in my life, probably when I’ve spent the whole day cleaning house and see it getting messy right behind me.
31) How much do looks count when you’re interested in someone?
I love people, male or female; I am easily interested in them no matter how they look. Good looks will sometimes make me uncomfortable.
32) Do you have confidence and faith in yourself?
I have faith in God, to me, faith is a word pertaining to religion and I don’t religiously believe in myself. I have the confidence I need to do anything I want to accomplish by working hard for in and putting in the effort.
33) What is the definition of being “clingy” in a relationship?
It’s when you aren’t given the freedom, time, or space from the other person to be yourself.
34) Would you put your arms around someone who was crying?
Maybe a child, but I’d sure get them to tell me what it’s all about, because I know talking helps.
35) What is it about your relationship you would like to change the most?
Nothing it is a source of joy to me as is.
36) What do you like the best in your relationship?
The laughter.
37) Which person in your life has died, that you miss and were close to?
Well I really miss my Uncle Elias a lot, but we weren’t that close. The brake has kept some very dear people out of my life that I was close to and miss. That’s Rose and Sharon at Airport, and Betty at Jamesvally. Also a friend lost her son, and that was heartbreaking to have to accept.
38) Have you ever felt something strange would happen and it did?
Yes, before my first breakdown I got this strange feeling that something was weird or not normal and I flew off the handle in an instant.
39) What is one thing in your life you would do over again if you could?
Well that question is too personal, I’m sure we could find a bundle of things to do over if we could.
40) What do you think would bring contentment in your life?
Nothing that is here on this earth, I am most contented when I have a good relationship with God and his people and am assured of their love.
41) If you had a chance to help an “unhappy ” friend, what advice would you give them?
Just let them talk, that is all they need, the other person is smart enough to figure things out for himself. I think there is a good reason we were given two ears and only one mouth.
42) What would be your “dream job” if you had the choice and opportunity?
Well it went from being a doctor, to being nurse, to being a midwife, to being a message therapist as I got older and lost the chance of having the opportunity. (Shucks) Well as a mother I am all these and so much more.
43) Do you recognize when you're in a bad mood?
Yes, and I try to stay away from others so that they don’t catch it, but since I’ve been married I know that I am a source to other peoples happiness, so I take the job more serious of keeping up a better mood.
44) Do you: a: Let your room get messy for a few days and then clean it up
B: Clean it every day
A.
45) Are You a:
A “take the bull by the horns” kind of person?
B “Let things go and wait and see” kind of person?
Depends on the situation, you need to have the wisdom to decide when to do what.
46) Were you a teachers pet?
No, but I think I tried sucking up.
47) Should money be spent or saved in your opinion?
If you want something big you save it; if you’ve got enough of it enjoy it and give to the needy.
48) Would you tell someone you love them even when they are annoying you?
Every day!!
49) Do you like surprises or the thrill of expecting?
I like them both.
50) Where are you ticklish the most?
Now that would be telling!!!

Counsel

I just read Brock Shields’ book: Down Came the Rain, it’s about her struggle with post-partum depression, I had post-partum psychosis. It was incredible how I could relate and how many of our thoughts and feelings were the same. So I found a real nice psychiatrist; he’s quite exciting and sure knows his stuff. Here are some of the reasons I like him so much:
· He will come directly to my home, so I can sit or lie down anywhere I feel comfortable.
· His rates are extremely low.
· He is a Christian.
· He will give me counsel from the bible on any moral issues.
· He will spend as much time as I need.
· He already knows my history so I needn’t waist time on that.
· He has a wonderful solution for guilt.
· He can really draw out what is inside and figure out the problem in no time.
His name is Wonderful, Counselor, Almighty God, The Everlasting Father, and The Prince of Peace, and He is available for anyone who needs Him at any time.

Trained

"Ich thieg la dana thorths" (I can thee your underpanth). Can't you just see that lisp!! These pictures are a product of Carrie my sister-in-love who takes some awesome pictures of kids. Thanks Carrie!!

Try adding a clip

I hereby annouce the succesful potty training of Hans Baer Kleinsasser. He is compleatly potty trained at age two and 9 months, (that's a half a year sooner than Judas) on July the 9th, the 2 thousandth and 7th year of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Accually I need a reason to see if I can add a clip as well as pictures....so here goes. No, can't do it HELP!!!!!!!!???????

Too Fast

Judas turned five just last week and has graduated from preschool. We had a party for him and the 'klanna' school grandma got the honor of taking him into the children's dining room. We're so proud of him, but the part that made my eyes water was when the grandmas told me how much they will miss him.

100 things about 5 year old Judas Baer Kleinsasser.
1. Judas can spend hours playing quietly and alone with his little cars.
2. Judas loves to imitate his Dad.
3. Judas is a very sensitive person.
4. Judas enjoys collecting warms after the rain.
5. Judas likes to shower with his Dad.
6. Judas bats like a pro.
7. Judas loves sitting at the wheel with his Dad and steering home.
8. Judas enjoys cake and cream type desserts.
9. His favorite food is corn and knaddle.
10. Judas plays baseball with the older children.
11. Judas only cries when he is hurt badly or vary tired.
12. Judas is a big help to the ‘klanna’ school grandmas and they say they will miss him.
13. Judas’ best friends are Grace and Israel.
14. Judas loves playing in the snow.
15. Judas has a good since of humor.
16. Judas can catch a ball with ease.
17. Judas’ back name is from his mom’s side of the family.
18. Judas looks like his dad.
19. Judas likes watching himself in the mirror.
20. Judas can make a sommersault on the trampoline.
21. Judas can sing and is not shy when singing at the kitchen with the other kids.
22. Judas likes it when people watch him.
23. Judas waves at people.
24. Judas will answer when a stranger speaks to him.
25. Judas doesn’t mind his suspenders.
26. Judas is a considerate fellow and thinks of others.
27. Judas likes climbing trees.
28. Judas understands English but wants his stories in Hutterite.
29. Judas has many friends.
30. Judas loves having a marshmallow roast.
31. Judas can take disappointments well.
32. Judas seems to have enough self-esteem.
33. Judas understands which foods are healthy.
34. Judas has a good imagination.
35. Judas obeys his parents most of the time.
36. Judas loves watching videos, even the clips on computer.
37. Judas drinks a lot of water and a hardly any juice.
38. Judas slept in the room across from his parent’s in a tent for a month.
39. Judas can count to ther-ty-teen correctly.
40. Judas can write his name with help.
41. Judas can add two and two.
42. Judas can swim with a life jacket.
43. Judas is pretty careful and cautious.
44. Judas enjoys comic books.
45. Judas loves bible stories.
46. Judas never picks a fight or agitates others.
47. Judas can tell a long story.
48. Judas started rollerblading before he was two and has enjoyed it ever since.
49. Judas has had two bee stings in his life.
50. Judas respects older people.
51. Judas thinks board games like Trouble and Checkers are fun.
52. Judas likes to pick his nose.
53. Judas has mastered his relationship manners.
54. Judas likes to colour with someone.
54. Judas loves a ride with heavy equipment.
55. Judas helps his mom gather butterfly worms.
56. Judas loves ‘klanna’ school.
57. Judas needs lots of hugs and praise.
58. Judas recognizes numbers.
59. Judas knows a lot of colors and loves playing ‘I spy, I spy.’
60. Judas’ favourite color was blue but is now red and he also likes green.
61. Judas is kind to others.
62. Judas has too many toys and wants more.
63. Judas loves being babysat by Audrey and Joni.
64. Judas loves helping his dad at the turkey barn.
65. Judas gets a great kick out of playing with his fathers whoopee cushion.
66. Judas prays in a grateful way.
67. Judas’ smile lights up his whole face.
68. Judas laughs easily and catches a joke pretty fast.
69. Judas likes dogs.
70. Judas can write pretend letters to people.
71. Judas was born on the longest day of the year.
72. Judas enjoys laughing at his younger brother.
73. Judas doesn’t like naps.
74. Judas is entertained by books.
75. Judas has had tree grandfathers and five grandmothers.
76. Judas now has three grandfathers and tree grandmothers.
77. Judas knows a few prayers by heart.
78. Judas loves skating and playing hockey either on ice or on the floor.
79. Judas likes French fries.
80. Judas is a little bit shy around strangers.
81. Judas never curses or swears or calls people names.
82. Judas likes to eat a lot of junk food and does not prefer fruits.
83. Judas is everybody’s sweetheart.
84. Judas is a good sport.
85. Judas is a chatterbox.
86. Judas minds his own business.
87. Judas loves to wrestle and be tickled.
88. Judas can share his toys with Hans but would rather play by himself.
89. Judas doesn’t become loud and obnoxious when we have visitors.
90. Judas is ---------tall, and weighs 40 pounds.
91. He has had ear ache, whooping cough, chicken ‘pops,’ and stepped into a rusty nail.
92. He loves listening to his grandma and Victor tell stories on tape.
93. Judas likes all his babysitters and ‘klann’ school grandmas.
94. Judas says that Jesus lives in his heart and he loves to pray in there too.
95. Judas spends a lot of time at Aunt Melinda’s house with his cousins.
96. Judas wants to know why.
97. Judas has patience and can wait with ease.
98. Judas has learned to use buttons and zippers.
99. Judas will remember and tell us what he dreamed.
100. Judas is a gift from God.


The struggle of the week has been to try to keep positive, why does it take so much effort to see the good? I'd love it if you could just inherit a positive outlook, but noooo, it has to be cultivated. It's easy to slid into the habit of the half empty glass, and I guess it's a personal choice of what you want to see. My rose colored glasses aren't always reality ether but they sure keep me hopeful and happier and the energy exerted to ware them is well worth it.



Speaking of keeping positive and grateful, we watched a couple tornadoes tare across our sky, and one touched down just four miles from the colony. We were already gathering in the kitchen basement like we do in some of my worst nightmares. Judas was so scared you could hardly pry his hands apart because he was praying. We prayed together for our safty and that we could rest our fears and stayed in the basement just to miss all the action. He kept asking me to sing and it really helped drown out the sound of the wind but he was comforted by it.

Gardens and Butterflies

Well, Welcome back my dear butterflies!! They are all over and around my house now, enjoying my garden as I am. It's great to see them again.

I just got my garden planted this week and am enjoying it's color and eagerly anticipating more of the same. There is hardly a bare spot in it, but I wouldn't mind more perennials because an annual is a little costly, and I want it much cozier than it was last year. Last year was terrible here on the farm in our gardens, either it was because they dug in a salt water line to water them, or it may have been the soil. Someone got us a load of soil off the land that had already been treated and planted. In any case, almost all of us had bad luck.

I'm really missing my pond of former years. We put our gold fish out last year during the summer months but Rodney and I can't quite agree on what a pond should be. He wants the water so clean that you can see and enjoy the fish, and I 'd like to fill it with plants. We can't have both; our 04, 05, pond was much nicer but we didn't have any fish at that time.

Today I administered an onion on a bee sting. Judas came in crying during nap time and it's amazing what goes through a mother's mind before she can see what actually happened. He was just screaming and I had to remove the stinger without letting any more of the venom get into him. The onion did a fine job of keeping it from swelling and pulling out the little that had gotten in. I could see it getting white and swollen around the sting already and about 10 min. after applying a slice of onion it was all better. I was thankful that a few of his girlfriends came in with him to keep him well destructed while it was healing.

Last week Judas stepped into a rusty nail and we really took it seriously. We've been soaking his foot in salt water everyday and applying a ointment that keeps it clean, but we are not safe yet. The incubation period for tetanus is two weeks, but the area looks very good already. He's been literally eating dirt since he's been old enough to grab it and should be immune by now.

I can't say that I'm not scared because there was one night that I could hardly sleep. I watched my little angel sleep to make sure he wasn't having any spasms of any kind. I read some scripture and prayed and listened again to Dr. Heroet's lecture to remind me why we made the decision not to vaccinate in the first place. The fear factor is usually no problem for me because I'm used to facing up to them and conquering. I could let myself get into a frenzy every time Rodney leaves the house too, thinking this may be the last time I will see him, but sitting around and obsessing about it will not serve to improve the quality of life. When something happens we'll deal with it. I can tell you, I've never been so happy to hear those annoying noises that little boys like to make with their mouths. Swishing spit, and blowing air out or their lips in all kinds of ways, means that he doesn't have lockjaw and his respiratory system is doing just fine.

I guess I've been thinking a lot this week about how 'fearfully and wonderfully' we've been made, with the body's God given ability to heal, clean and build. Also how fragile our earth is, I mean, just move the sun 1% closer or further away from the earth and all life will die. The same goes for the moon, and try raising the temperature of the water a few degrees, or mess it up a bit more and you are in trouble. Remove a measly eight inches of topsoil and we lose the plants that use the sun's energy to make food. It is God who sustains us, cares for us and gives us His word that we are safe in His keeping. Where was I when He made the firefly? Is anything to hard for Him? The wind, the earth, water and fire obey His every command.

My sweetheart has been flying a remote control airplane the last few moths with his brother Stanley. Yesterday they crashed into a tree for only the third time, and today they had to get the forklift to get it down, and I got some nice pictures of the kids watching. The girls are my sister Melinda's and the little boy is Hans. We get together in the evenings when there is hardly any wind to watch them fly. Its a nice and relaxing thing to do with the kids and the daddy's enjoyed many an evening working on it.

I Believe

Last weekend was spent in Crystal Springs at their baptism. There were six young people who committed themselves. I now understand how a three hour sermon can seem like a few minutes.

We were all reminded of the promises we once made ourselves, and of what we believe in. Here is my creed #2 of the new millennium:

I don’t believe in ‘once saved always saved,’
But I believe in a God who saves through His son Jesus Christ.

I don’t believe in ‘speaking in tongues,’
But I believe in a God who speaks the ultimate truth and spoke the world into existence.

I don’t believe in ‘faith healing,’
But I have faith in a God who heals and is the greatest physician that ever lived.

I don’t believe in or have faith in myself,
But I believe I was created to serve the Lord as all His wondrous creations were.

Thankfulness

This week turned out to be a shocker for the whole colony, we lost Ruben, one of our own, in a sudden heartbeat gone bad. Sunday was his sister Clara's birthday, and we sang and wished her a happy one, no one dreaming what would take place that day. Some of the younger girls even sent her well wishes and a song on the Sunday Request Show for fun.

My emotions were kind of mixed all week, should I be glad he didn't and doesn't have to suffer anymore, or sad that he is gone and will be missed by all? He was the colony's one man clean-up crew, carrying trash and slop to the dump. He had some challenges but a character that made this place more interesting and alive.

Jake Vetter from Oakbluff held the sermon and challenged us to be ready at all times to meet the Lord. He talked about the frailty of life and reminded us to clean up our relationships. Is there one person with who we would need to talk to if we knew we were going to die today?

My personal challenge is about the One who took away my garbage and my stinking, roting sins. How much do I love Him? Jesus was also humble, simple, and a servant to all. Do I love Him only because of what He did for me? Sure, I was thankful to Ruben for what he did for me, and said it to him a few times, but doesn't God want more than thanks? Doesn't He want all my life and love to be poured out for others as His was? He was a servant washing feet, much like Ruben, and said that if we want to be great in the kingdom of heaven be the slave. How often do we leave the dirty work for someone else?

I just love songs about heaven, I think that they are fast becoming my favorites. It is a pleasure trying to imagine how it will be there, not the beauty, I can't begin to see that, but just deleting earthly things like dust, sweat, temptation, pain, sickness, burdens and cares. No one will want to shut me up there for singing praises to God too loudly. I do have much to be thankful for, and we are always complaining to God at church how no mouth or tough can praise Him enough. Well, there is the praise of a quiet heart, but then, what your heart is full of comes out by the mouth.

I should post this ironic poem that I wrote many, many years ago. Why is crying the only socially acceptable thing to do when you are overjoyed? I am so thankful at times that all I can do is weep, just look at what I have been given. My husband, my two little angels, a home, food to overflow, clothes, my health, friends, help, and those are only the physical blessings, look at what God has done, called me his own child, saved me, washed me from my sins, showed me mercy and grace that I can't seem to ever deserve no matter how hard I try. I guess I've always been a very expressive person, so here it is.

Joy
I can’t clap my hands and I can’t dance
My song and my holler are much too loud
No laughing, no leaping, no raising my hands
Oh, what shall I do, but sit down and weep
For happiness

Wedding

Last week on Sunday I was invited to Odanah to the engagement party of my dear friend Rachel to her beloved Lowell. They will be married on Sunday.

I was so tickled and honoured to be there to witness this blessed occasion that my feet haven't touched the floor all week yet. I've actually been wearing blue all week to commemorate and to celebrate their wedding. Usually after a trip I come home with a big hangover, but not so this time, I'm actually refreshed and up-lifted. I also saw many sweet people that I haven't seen for way too long.

Just feeling the thrill of it made me consider that we have all been invited to a very important event in the history of the world. God has called each one of us to attend His wedding to His bride the church. He longs for her as much as any lover does his loved one, and has asked everyone to come. That should make me feel awed too, and inspired to get the invitation out if anything should. I have accepted the invitation and committed myself in baptism to be there. I have been fitted in His righteousness, the wedding dress I plan to wear, because that's the only spotless one I can find. Hence, my daily struggle to be dead to sin, and not let the members of my body be used to serve the devil and his kingdom.

I was also struck again by how much our marriage relationship reflects the relationship of God and his church. I know from my own marriage how Rodney at times has looked at me with pity, mercy and great great love, and that is how God looks at his church and has provided her with salvation. I have had to look to Rodney for help, wisdom, and strength, and yes, even salvation when things have gotten tough, and that is how a church turns to God sincerely in prayer.

I know from having had a few breakdowns how Rodney helped to keep me whole, and saved me from falling to peaces. He never mocked me or shamed or insulted me, he just served me tenderly as if I was the queen of Sheba. Today I can walk with confidence, intact, with my head up because of this great love. He was the example of God's love for us. This kind of love is not just for some of us, it is for all of us. Whenever we feel lonely, rejected, or lost, He is just waiting to bless us, to hold us, and to see to all our needs. He knows what they are far better than we do ourselves. This is a great gift of love that we have been given; not to be taken lightly, it flows from Him through us and ever outward to touch lives and change hearts.


I painted this just before Judas was born in June 02. Rodney and I saw a beautiful sunset between the trees and rushed out in the wind to get a better view. Standing there is it's splendor we talked about how our life will never be the same again and that the beautiful honeymoon years were over. Like the sunset, that day really was the end of something beautiful and the start of a new special day or chapter in our life together. We were about to become parents and much happened in the following years to give us a stronger and more meaningful relationship.

Relationships

"Mom, can I keep these in the fridge until summer?" Judas calls from the hallway after slamming the door.

He has produced a sandbox pail of warms. "No Honey, they are going to crawl into our milk and our bread and...well, just kidding, but they might not like being cold, and they'll die before summer comes."

"OK," He answers, and that's the last I hear of the worms until it is discovered that they have spent a number of nights sleeping with him under his bed.

There is a wonderful book I'd like to recommend to all mothers, Worms in my tea. I'll post it as soon as I can find out who wrote it, but I have since passed it on to a few other moms who have busted their sides rolling with laughter. It's about the daily grind of being a mother, very funny!

My sister was just here for almost a week during the time Waylon from Neuhof got his wish to go home to be with the Lord. For those of you who don't know about Waylon, he had a two year struggle with cancer and nobody wanted to trade places with him when the time came to remove one of his legs, but later everyone wanted to be in his shoe when he told everyone "I'm going home." He just lifted up his arms and left. He had said that he doesn't want to have anything more to do with the things in this world. So we were discussing this balance between us living here and having to keep things clean and nice and not letting everything get into a sloppy mess. We were wondering where we cross the line, when do we simply have too much earthly preoccupation? The things Waylon had admonished us about were forgiveness, bitterness, grudges and more relationship based ideas.

So that may just be the line we are not to cross. We should have a look at ourselves and ask if our priority is our earthly work instead of our relationships? Is my house cleaner than my kids conscience? Does raking my lawn come before fixing that little trust issue with my sister? Am I too busy to talk with someone who really needs an ear? Have I got an extra minute to be polite? Is my dress more beautiful than my spirit? Do we come to an agreement if my brother thinks something should be done this way and I think it should be done that way?

Living together in community is not easy at all, maybe we should feel privileged to be on the colony with the people we live with. To be able to touch each other in such a unique way, bringing joy to the children, support to the strong, help to the weak, company to the old, and a light to our youth. Holding these up as our ideal and striving toward it with our ever failing humanity sure helps.

Relationships are also our best indication of how much we love God. He said that whoever says he loves Me, but hates his brother, is a lier. So in effect, we only love God as much as the person we love the least.